Okay -- so my sweet friend Kim posted this link to a blog post about unparalleled obedience and it got me thinking...which I imagine would make the writer of the post happy as that was probably her point. HA. Anyway....one of the lines she uses is to stay firmly on a "God ordained path" Sounds like a good idea....but what in the world does that mean? See here's my problem...and I know it's just mine...but I'm sorta stuck with the idea that any God ordained path involves working in ministry....and I mean formally in ministry. And it really doesn't help my clarity on this issue that most of the people who talk about this are in fact in formal ministry in some way. I understand the whole "we are all parts of the body" and have different functions...but it's just hard for me to buy the "I'm an accountant for God" ....in my mind, if you are an accountant for it to count you'd have to work for a church or ministry group. I know this is not so...really I do...only I guess I don't. And no I don't expect any one to follow this. I'm not even sure I follow it. In a great book I'm reading "The Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson, he talks about someone who persistently applies for his dream job -- for 12 years -- with the State Dept. I'm so confused by this. I know I'm not at my best always at my job...but even when I am....I don't know that I see myself as being a licensing specialist for Jesus. Or that I've been called to be a licensing specialist by God. I know that not everyone can be in full time ministry....that'd be like all of us being stomachs...but it's just odd to me. I know I am over thinking this and it'll just have to come down to a "Trust Me" issue...and maybe at some point I'll be able to wrap my head around it.
The post also caused me to reflect on the words God's been whispering to me and was my sorta them for the year ....Surrender....and I'm not sure I have been obedient as I should....again....I'm not sure what it looks like. But I don't think I'm there yet.
Several thoughts have been bubbling in my head and heart. Another dear friend of mine gives up sweets every year for lent although she's not Catholic. She does this to show respect for all that Christ suffered for us. I also have wrestled with the challenge that Lysa Terkeurst has talked about and written about in Made to Crave -- do we put things such as food before our relationship with God. So I am embarking on a challenge for lent that I've felt prompted to surrender...and that is watching television. So starting tomorrow through Easter...no TV. I'm excited. A little nervous...but I know I can do it. I'm tempted to pile on a whole lot more of things to give up....which is so me...the all or nothing attitude....so I'm keeping it to just television. I was almost going to give myself a special dispensation so I could watch the season finale of Downton Abbey....but this last episode ended so nicely with things mostly at peace that I figured that was a nice present to me....and since the episode had such a nice "resolved" feeling to it...that the season finale would only bring new trouble or stress to keep us hanging on until next season. Some days...I'm so quirky and silly I just have to laugh at me.
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